Dear God

~~@2016, Angela Wilcox
Sometimes you just end up back where you started.

I sit beside my bed tonight
Hands folded and eyes closed
Remembering simpler days gone by
Here, I am now, ready and posed

I pray that this next year in life
Will be one of my best
That I will not forget this year
The lessons and the tests

I pray for peace within my heart
For healing from above
My soul seeks to rejoice again
To sing and dance and love

I pray that I can be each day
A light, a beacon bright
Helping others find a way
Through dark and endless nights

When my eyes are closed each day
I have one last request
For a heart that overflows with love
And a quiet soul that rests

The Power of Touch

~~@2016 Angela Wilcox
Go reach out and touch someone you know who lives alone.  It is a gift they cannot give themselves.

I sit in my silence
Alone everyday
No one around me
So still and afraid

Afraid not for safety
My walls, they are strong
Afraid not for darkness
My lights, they shine long

What I fear most
Is the loss of a touch
The feel of a hand
That loves me so much

I fear of forgetting
The longing for love
You really can't know
The power of touch

Until it is gone.

The Key

@2016 Angela Wilcox

I lost something
I cannot find
   Keeps me looking
    Longing, searching

I close my eyes
I can picture it
    But when I open
    It is still gone

There are moments
My heart says it is close
     But it is wrong
     It beats a memory

Someday maybe
When I quit my search
     There it will be again
     The key to my heart

The Marks of You

~~ @Angela Wilcox October 2016

I wondered what I would say,
If ever I were asked...
How do you know for sure it's  her?
How would I answer that?

I closed my eyes and I thought hard,
About that very last time...
What could I actually remember,
Of this woman, she not mine?

The feel of our lips touching,
Is probably not outstanding...
Nor the gentleness of your kiss,
And the way it left me longing.

They'd want the color of your eyes,
They are brown, no green, maybe bluer...
What about her hair, they'd say?
Does silky softness help? I'd counter.

The Marks of you are subtle,
But are burned deep in my soul...
How do you know for sure it's her?
By my hearts raw, gaping hole.

Remembering

The Live Sincerely Project states: "Life is unfair and scary and hard and confusing and painful and fleeting and amazing and connecting and fun and wonderful and beautiful.  If there is one thing to learn from our own mortality, it’s how important it is to live sincerely."

And somehow over the last two years... I forgot.  I forgot the reasons why I made so many changes in my life.  I forgot to live each and every day in an authentic, sincere way.  I let toxins into my world that polluted my soul... that drug down my spirit, and left me in a state of loss, floundering aimlessly.

No more.  Today is a new day.  My life is mine and mine alone to make of it what I will. 

I will LIVE SINCERELY.

Lessons From Life - Christmas 2000 - Rochester, MN

~~@ Angela Wilcox, 2016 .  Found this in a stash of pictures as I unpacked a box today.  I thought it had been lost.  It was written as a gift to my girlfriend at that time, after a very long year.  While our relationship did not last a life-time, I have many gifts from it that definitely will.

With the dawn of the new millennium,

Little did I suspect,

The lessons that life would have for me,

Truths I would come to respect.

The wisdom I have gained this year,

will always serve me well,

And since you were a part of these,

My lessons now I'll tell.

I learned that love cannot be left,

To manage on its own.

It needs consideration, thought, and deeds,

To flourish and be known.

I learned that love won't conquer all,

But that it can endure.

That love can overcome our faults,

And help our hearts be pure.

I learned that life's about today,

That may be all we get.

So fill each day with passion, joy,

Learn to live, to forgive, to forget.

I learned, most of all, of the wonder of you,

A treasure I came close to losing.

That you are a gift beyond all compare,

And that has been of your choosing.

When we are old and look back at the dawn,

May our lives have been lived, no regrets.

May these lessons we learned in this very hard year,

Sustain us, as one, as a set.

The Hope of You

~~ @Angela Wilcox July 2016 - Another piece written at a melancholy time in my life that followed many months of emotional turmoil that I had created (once again) for myself.  Apparently a cycle for me!  

I cannot sleep...
     My heart won't rest.
Thoughts of you,
     Beat in my chest.

I walk outside.
     The night is hot.
The neighbors dream...
     But I do not.

I wonder will...
     This heat subside?
Forever gone...
     Not by my side.

The moon is full...
     I shake and quiver.
I sigh and try...
     Not to remember.

Now I must sleep.
     I must move on.
The hope of you...
     It must be gone.

Lost In You

~~ @Angela Wilcox 2014

You see, there is something
So different when I am with you.
I can lose myself... completely.

The Last

~~@2016, Angela Wilcox -- From the Archives.  Where would music be, without the broken heart... this would not make a good song... but it's fragmentation accurately reflected my heart, twisted and torn... truth be told, there rarely is a last... we long to be connected up until the day we die...

You get to be the last,
The one I loved the most.

You get to be the one,
Who holds my heart alone.

There were others before you, 
But none who can compare.

I try to imagine loving someone else.
The pain of trying steals my breath.

In the end, we enter the world alone.
And that is how we will exit.

Thank you for loving me.
You changed my life.

The Voice (that is You)

~~ @Angela Wilcox April 2016.  Written for a friend of mine... after a late night conversation.  "Pick a different source for the Voice.  It is there... And speaking to you constantly..."

I've held on tight
For many years
To that which "once was".

To please them all
Was what I knew
It's how I heard Your voice.

To heed them not
To turn away
Feels like forsaking You.

Now I falter, nearly fall
Broken hearted
Trying to hear Your voice.

I know when walking
Head held high
I hear Your voice in Eagle's cries.

I know You're there
With every step
Captured through my camera's eye!

You manifest Your love
To me
With every breath I take.

I see true love
And peace in You
Let there be no more mistake.

I am waiting, listening
So speak...
My ears await Your voice.