My Place In This World

The wind is moving

But I am standing still

A life of pages

Waiting to be filled

A heart that's hopeful

A head that's full of dreams

But this becoming

Is harder than it seems

~~~
And the song goes on.  

Kirkpatrick, Smith, and Grant wrote those lyrics at the beginning of their Epic Song "Place In This World".  If you have never heard of it - take a listen on i-Tunes or elsewhere in Internet land.  Michael W. Smith sings it.  It is on several of his albums.

I found as a young adult a great sense of recognition in the phrasing of this song... and I loved the enchanting melody they wrote to go with it.  I had not heard the song in ages, and then I did a little writing challenge with my sister-in-law, Sue, called "31 Songs in 31 Days" last December.  You were supposed to write about 31 songs that have affected your life.  This was one of the (top 10) songs in my list. In December of 2013 I wrote the following:

From the Album Go West Young Man this song was one of Michael W. Smith’s biggest crossover hits in 1991. As an artist who had an intensely devout young life, and then had gotten off track into multiple addictions, but finally found his way out – I find Michael W Smith to be an intensely authentic musician and love his music.

This song became a hit just before I went into treatment in my 20’s.  It was a song that I related to in such an intense manner.  I cannot really accurately express how lost I was during that time; and how alone I felt in that vast “lost-ness”.  I know, not really a word, but it expresses what I want to say.  I was stuck in a void between the reality of my life, and the Christianity with which I had grown up.

It was remarkable to me, to realize I was not the only one who struggled.  Songs like this helped me realize that others (including the songs author) had looked at their life and felt the same darkness.  A plea to God was written in this anthem: “I need your light to help me find my place in this world.”  Michael W was able to express the thoughts I constantly had – if there were millions of others pleading, would God be able to hear me and help me? 

                                                                                           

At the beginning of this song, I love the visual he gives us - “A life of pages waiting to be filled”.  Isn’t that what it is all about?  This is why I love journaling and writing.  It is a way to document those pages as we fill them.  Sometimes they are wonderful and insightful pages, sometimes the pages are dark and dreary.  But they are our pages.  And only we can fill them completely.

“A heart that’s hopeful, a head that’s full of dreams. But this becoming is harder than it seems.”  Wow – true back then and still true for me today.  I am not sure as we age that it gets any easier.  It certainly gets more complicated!  I hope that as I continue dreaming and moving forward, I can always look back at the completed pages, and know I found my place in this world!

The song flew into my brain last night when I was writing the post on cynicism.  And then I thought of the 31/31 challenge and had to go dig this out to share!

We all are empty pages - waiting to be filled.  Our life is not scripted out for us.  We make this book what we want it to be.  We make the choice of what goes into those pages. One thing I know for sure... I am not done writing yet.